How to Write an Opening Chapter that Keeps Readers Reading with Author David McCloskey

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In this episode, we’re joined by David McCloskey, a former CIA analyst and author of the thrillers The Seventh Floor, Moscow X, and Damascus Station. David brings a wealth of real-world experience into his fiction, and today, we’ll explore how his background as a CIA agent has shaped his writing. You’ll will learn how to blend real-world expertise with gripping fiction, we’ll also dive deep into character development, and master pacing and high-stakes in your opening chapter. If you’re looking to craft stories that feel authentic, compelling, and full of tension, this conversation is for you.

• How to use real-world experience to enhance your thriller writing.
• Writing an opening chapter that readers will love
• Pacing techniques that will keep readers on the edge of their seats.

Tweet me @DavidRGwyn

Transcript

David McCloskey

David McCloskey: [00:00:00] you do not have to have lived something to write well about it, but you do have to do your research and you have to have friends or contacts who are willing to talk to you in order to render a, you know, a world effectively.

David Gwyn: Hey everyone. And welcome to thriller one-on-one podcast. Today we are joined by David McCloskey, a former CIA analyst and author of the thrillers, the seventh floor, Moscow X, and Damascus station. David brings a wealth of real world experience into his fiction. 

And today we're going to explore how his background and the CIA shaped his writing. 

You'll also learn how to blend real-world expertise with fiction. And we'll dive deep into character development, mastering pacing, and high stakes in your opening chapter and so much more. So if you're looking to craft stories that feel authentic, compelling, and full of tension so that you can grab an agent or reader's attention, then this is the conversation for you.

I'm David Gwynn. And a [00:01:00] writer navigating the world of traditional publishing. During the second season of the thriller one-on-one podcast, we're going to continue our focus on building the skills necessary to write the kinds of thrillers that land to you and agent and readers. During the season, I'll be sharing some of my own insights while also talking to agents authors and other publishing professionals about the best way to write a novel. If you want the expert secrets, thriller 1 0 1 is where you're going to find them. Last time on the podcast, we talked to Leslie Connor. 

She shared some of the resources that she used to write the Lexi garner series.

 And we talk all about letting characters lead the way. 

Leslie Conner: I did not initially intend for this to be a series. , Devil's Charm is the first book and it was meant to be a standalone and it can be a standalone. If you just read that book, it would, you know, end in a nice little note. But for some reason, when I finished that book, I really just, I did not want to leave these characters

David Gwyn: So, if you want to check out that episode, you can head down into the description where you'll find the link.

Okay, let's get into the interview.

So David, thanks so much for being on the Thriller one on one [00:02:00] podcast.

David McCloskey: Hey, thanks for having me. Thrilled to be here.

David Gwyn: Yeah. I'm really excited to chat with you. So your new novel the seventh floor, which is out now.

So first I want to say congratulations.

And then I want to, I want to hear, can you tell us a little bit about what it's about?

David McCloskey: Yeah. So the book is a kind of modern homage really to like a classic mole hunt story, right? So the premise of the book is basically that there is a Russian mole and asset working for Moscow operating from the upper reaches of Langley's seventh floor, which is the kind of executive suite at Langley where the director, deputy director, you know, all the sort of bigwigs work.

And the book is basically it kind of features one of my main characters from the first two novels. Her name's Artemis Proctor. She's a CIA case officer who's very colorful. She's got a terrible potty mouth. She's wonderfully sort of deranged. And she is running an operation that in the most sort of Proctor esque fashion goes completely sideways.

One of her good friends gets nabbed by [00:03:00] the Russians, held for a number of months, traded back in a spy swap. Proctor gets fired, and when he comes back, he shows up at her doorstep in Florida, and he has this, you know, smashing news that there is in fact a, a mole operating from Langley. And so the rest of the novel is really Proctor and her friend's name is Sam.

They're really investigation quest to figure out who this is and of course They end up with a short list of some of proctor's, sort of deepest friends or closest friends rather, and some of her most cherished enemies. So it's a, it's a story about you know, modern espionage, but it's also a, a lot of it's a story about a group of friends and what, what happens to groups of friends over a long period of time.

David Gwyn: Yeah, cool. So this is, this is a series obviously. So tell me about how you go about taking, taking a character that you you've used before and coming up with something new and fresh in terms of plot. Like, how, how are you navigating that?

David McCloskey: Well, so [00:04:00] it, it is a series kind of, it's not like a Jack Ryan, 1, 2, 3, 4, you know, kind of a thing. You know, or Bradthor kind of Scott, Scott Harvath. It's not quite that, but it's the same universe, right? And so Proctor for me, she was, she's a, you know, she's not the main character in the first novel, Damascus Station.

She's got a bigger role in Moscow X and now she's really the main. You know, character in the seventh floor. So she's kind of been promoted as I've, as I've continued to write and, and honestly, it's a very organic process for me of figuring out what role she might play or not play in a novel. So, you know, she was this great kind of salty side character in the first book who, in my opinion, stole a whole bunch of scenes that she appeared in, but like, she's not really driving. That story, right?

She's not kind of the emotional spine. I had started the second novel with the idea that she would not be in it. Got to a point in the writing that was, you know, fairly desperate. And I was like [00:05:00] desperately in need of some help from a character. And so I pulled her in or just tried to see if it would work with her in it, because she is one of those characters where you start writing her and you think, Oh, well, the scene's going to go this way and she'll take it another way. And I really became enthralled with her. even more in writing the second book. And so for the third one, it was kind of no question that she would be the centerpiece and I would try to find this world around her and bring that to life. So for me, it's always a, it's kind of a character driven, organic thing that happens

depending on what the story seems to dictate or need. 

David Gwyn: yeah, that makes a lot of sense. So it's more like a Marvel universe than like a series of like,

David McCloskey: there you go. Yeah, there you go. It's the MCU. That's right.

David Gwyn: there you go. So, so I'm curious because you know, you've obviously a lot of people who write books like this tend to do a lot of research and a lot of background knowledge, but you, you were a CIA analyst.

So like how much of this is [00:06:00] something that you just. know because of your background and how much did you have to like kind of search around and and figure out is there is a kind of a blend between the two?

David McCloskey: Yeah, it's very much a blend, you know, because I there are, there are things that I know from having been at CIA, and that is helpful, right? I have some basic grounding in the place. I have a mental model for how it works. I also importantly have friends who I can call who will answer questions if I don't know them.

And What you find when you're, when you're writing a novel is that all of a sudden a bunch of things that seem kind of pedantic or minor start to become kind of important.

Or, you know, at least they could be important, luminous details in a scene, be they a bit of tradecraft, a piece of lingo, the way a particular room looks or smells, that kind of thing. It can be really critical to kind of creating a foundation of [00:07:00] authenticity that the reader says, okay, like, The author has authority in this world and I'm gonna, I'm going to go along for the ride. And so for me, that's really important and it's really important that I have I honestly do believe that my background at CIA is less important for the creation of that world than the existence of a group of people who will take my phone calls and talk to me.

Like, I really do think you need, you do not need, there is, it is, it is a fallacy, and I'm not, I'm not exactly sure, it's certainly not created by writers, because I think we all know better, but like, you do not have to be And you do not have to have lived something to write well about it, but you do have to do your research and you have to have friends or contacts who are willing to talk to you in [00:08:00] order to render a, you know, a world effectively.

David Gwyn: Yeah, I think there's probably a lot of people who are pretty excited to hear that they don't have to become a CIA 

David McCloskey: No, 

David Gwyn: this.

David McCloskey: Yeah, you don't. I mean, and, and, there are, I mean, you look at some other, you know, thriller writers, like, You know, Brad Thor wasn't a Navy

SEAL, Right?

Mark Greeney has no military background, as far as I know, and these guys write really well about their world, you know, and

they're writing a different type.

It's more of kind of a military thriller than, than what I do, but they do it really, really well, and they do it because they do a ton of research, and they have those conversations, and they have those friends, and, you know, it doesn't mean that they've, lived it themselves.

David Gwyn: Yeah, no, I think that's really smart and I feel like for people listening to this, I think the, the big takeaway from, from what I'm hearing too is like, there's, there's only so far like Google can take you, right? Like, you've got it. You've got to be able to call somebody or ask somebody like a specific question because I think you're going to get a lot more, of the color, I imagine you're going to get more [00:09:00] flair.

There's going to be tangents that people go on when, when you're talking to them that are going to end up being the thing that you use and the thing that you need. You don't even know what it is. I think that's, I think that's really important is to, for people to be thinking about as they're listening to this, like, Hey, like what relationships am I building that will help me with, within the narrative that I'm writing, right?

Like what research do I need to do and who can help me with that? I think is really cool. I 

David McCloskey: And I'll give you a dumb example that's not espionage related is, in this book, one of the characters has this obsession with exotic fish. Like, he loves aquariums, tropical, you know, tropical fish are like his And I don't know anything about that and I, but I knew going into it that there was only so much that I would be able to learn from just kind of reading on Google.

So I went to and made friends with, there's a a place here in town called exotic aquatics, and they've got a bunch of people there who know everything about, you [00:10:00] know maintaining, setting up and maintaining a saltwater aquarium in your home and different types of fish. So I just, I spent a couple afternoons there asking them questions and by the time I was done, it's like, I've got what I need, you

know, and, and, but, but if you don't do that, and obviously I think at times in, in every writer's story, like you do, You do have to sacrifice detail or sometimes even authenticity for the purposes of the story, but there's no reason why you should get a fact wrong about tropical fish in your book.

Like,

you can find somebody who will tell you the answer.

David Gwyn: Okay. I want to pause there for a second because David gave some great advice for writing your stories. It's not about what you know, it's about making connections and about finding people who will help you. 

So, how can you do that? Who do you need to reach out to so that your manuscript has that kind of feeling of authenticity. Hey, do you want to take your writing to the next level? If you want to develop into the kind of writer that gets [00:11:00] agent's attention while building a community around yourself, that will help you become a better storyteller. Revise, what you've got. 

Hold you accountable and be there for you all during this crazy writing career you've got going on, then you have to check out the second cohort of the storytellers society. There's limited spots available. So going down into the description to find out more.

 Don't wait on this because we are definitely going to fill up before the deadline we did for cohort one, I'm expecting cohort two to go even faster. So definitely go down into the description and sign up right away so 

we can get you some more information before we head back into the episode. 

What I really wanted to do with this break is refocus you because we're about to dive into the first chapter of the seventh floor by David McCloskey. I'm actually going to read some of it to him and then. Quiz him about how he did what he did. It was really fun to get, to pick his brain about how he thought through the process of developing this chapter, because this

 thing hooked me from page one. 

So we're going to talk all about how and [00:12:00] why he did what he did. So pay close attention so you can write the kind of opening chapter that will wow. Agents and readers.

Let's get back to the interview.

So I want to, I want to pivot a little bit and talk about your first chapter here because I mean, I read this and I was like, like, how, how does anyone read just the first chapter of this book? I don't think it's possible. I don't think you can.

David McCloskey: the 

point. Yeah,

David Gwyn: But I'll tell you, so, so I, I run a pitch contest through the podcast where people submit their kind of like first 500 words or so. And then they're, they're kind of pitch blurb agents look at them and then choose the ones they want. So I read a lot of like opening paragraphs and, and I actually want to read yours because I have your book in front of me because I want to, I want to talk about just this, this first paragraph.

I want people to hear it because it is, and then I want to talk about like holistically the, the first. chapter and how you kind of thought about it. But this, this first paragraph is the thing I think that a lot of people are searching for in their writing and never quite get to or don't at least you know, in the, in the drafts that I'm reading.

So I'm going to, I'm going to do the thing. I'm going to read it. So if you need a drink, I mean, you, you know, [00:13:00] this probably by heart, you probably read this first chapter a couple 

David McCloskey: I've read it too many times. I've read it too many times.

David Gwyn: So if you want to tune out, you're welcome to just, just the first paragraph. The Russian suicide pen, a Mont Blanc, was upstairs. Should have kept it down here. He scolded himself, even with Aona around if he was right about these cars, there was precious little time. He slid, shut the drawer on his office desk and gently tipped Aona from his knee up.

She insisted up, up, up. How dare you write such a perfect opening to this? 

David McCloskey: appreciate, I appreciate you saying that. I like how it starts too.

David Gwyn: it does so much like you've got the tension of the suicide pen and the cars, you've got the ticking time. I mean, and you do it. like efficiently, which I think is so impressive. Like that. You just say there's precious little time. Like you just drop that line. It's efficient. It's three words and it makes a reader go like, Oh, like, so not only is there a suicide pen, are there cars, there's little time.

And then you get that, like the emotional impact of the daughter asking 

David McCloskey: girl there. Yeah, [00:14:00] yeah, yeah, 

David Gwyn: So, so where, like, was this always the first chapter? Was this always the opening? Like, tell me about this a little bit.

David McCloskey: yeah. So I will, I will say I, I have a very poor track record. And in fact, I'm writing my fourth book now. I'm now, I would consider myself over four in have every time, every time gone back and basically. Taken the first 20 percent of the book by the time I think it's done taking the first 20 percent of the book Scrapped it pretty much entirely And rewritten the beginning, like the first part.

And so with that, I would say has come and the first chapter has probably been changed, moved around you know, extinguished, brought back, rewritten at least 10 times, maybe

more throughout the course of the book. Cause I, I find at least the way that I write that. I have some sense when I start of generally where I'm going.

I don't have an outline, but I have some sense of generally where I'm going. I [00:15:00] usually figure out the ending along the way and don't change it. Like I get to this, I'm like, Okay.

this is where I'm going. I get there. And then I kind of figure out the ending works. And then I, I cannot get the track right at the beginning

David Gwyn: Okay.

David McCloskey: for a while.

It takes a while to get that. And I, so I think for me, it's harder to step into a story than it is to sort of step out. And. The way this chapter came about was I like books that start with, not with just, I'm in the middle of an action scene, but I'm in the middle of something that has incredible weight for a character, and that, and

that walks me into the author's world.

Because I think for me, for me personally, when I'm reading a book, I know really within the first couple paragraphs. if I'm going to like the book. I think, I mean, and oftentimes I will pick up a book, read a page or [00:16:00] two and say, no, you know, it's not a knock on the author or some kind of like denigration of their value as a human being or writer.

It's just, it's not going to be for me.

David Gwyn: Yeah.

David McCloskey: And I think a lot of that has to do with some mix of voice authorial sort of, you know, sort of command, right? And whether they've, whether they've set up a desire on my part to keep turning the pages. And so I think with that little bit that you read there, you know, I think you've, you've broken it down beautifully.

Like, there's a number of different things there, where you're given enough information to have some sense of jeopardy and drama and, and. Emotional slash moral weight that hopefully get you to turn the page

David Gwyn: Yeah, and I 

David McCloskey: and walk further into it, you know?

David Gwyn: I think that's just an example, but the whole chapter does this where it like strikes this balance between creating questions in a reader's mind. Like, I'm like, well, who are the cars? Like, who's out there? Who's this guy? What did he do? But it's not so many [00:17:00] that it's confusing, which I think there's like a fine line that a lot of writers struggle with.

Sometimes they go too far and you're like, okay, I don't even know where I'm at. Like what's happening. is on the wrong side of that. And so is like, okay, there's no tension. There's no questions in my mind. And so, you know, yeah, I think you have to find that. And my question to you is like, you've obviously introduced you go in this, in this book, specifically, you introduced a couple different characters at different times.

Do you think of all of those as separate first chapters or is the first chapter really completely different?

David McCloskey: I think that's a good question. I I guess I think about, I have tended to think about my books as like, or the story is there's, there's track that's being laid that is eventually going to smash into one. You know, these tracks are going to

smash into each other. Yeah. And it really matters where it starts for each one because I know I, all the books I've written now have been multiple point of view characters, and I know from having read a lot of those kinds of books that the [00:18:00] worst feeling is when you flip to a chapter with a character and you're like, ugh, damn it, you know, like, I'm, I'm, I don't like this, not even this, I'm not interested in this character.

I don't care. I don't want to see any more of this. Like, those are kind of the moments where, you know, a reader, God bless them, there's so many other things that they could do, might just be like, I'm done, you know? And so laying, starting the track, if you're doing three or four characters or something like that, where you started with each of them, I think really does matter tremendously. But ultimately that first chapter, I think, is the ultimate invitation to the reader to say, Are you going to continue to consume this story, or are you going to

watch TikTok videos, or read someone else's book, or go, you know, just kind of be distracted? I mean, I, so many people I know, including myself sometimes, will be like, yeah, you read a couple pages of a book, you put it down, and you're done.

You never

come back. You know how do you, how do you avoid that? And, and I do think for me, [00:19:00] there, and especially in the kind of the spy, military thriller genre, I think there can be a, a tendency for writers to overemphasize action early on, or just sort of assume that action is suspense, and it's not. I mean, when it's done well, yes, but ultimately, I think with these books, like, you want there to be suspense, which, which means that there's always unanswered, there's open loops all the time, up until the very, very end.

You know, we as humans, like, We want our sporting events to go into overtime, right? You want it to draw, you want it to be drawn out. You do not want a bunch of information thrown at you that closes loops right away. You

know? 

David Gwyn: Yeah. No, I think it's great. And I, that's actually the thing I was going to ask you next, which is you know, when it comes to this genre, I feel like. People often think a lot about the like intense scenes and the chases and this and that and like to start out with something that was so [00:20:00] like gentle and almost calm and almost like it was devastating and tender like it was all of these things that you don't think about when you think about spy novels and I think it was very, I think that that was another thing that drew me in.

Yeah, so are you thinking about that first chapter or your first chapters is like. setting a tone that is, I don't want to say different, but just a tone that is maybe something that is going to do more to draw somebody in emotionally as opposed to just draw somebody in because it's the attention because of the fast pace.

David McCloskey: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I have a a general desire to not start with, with action, you know? I mean, in that scene stuff happens at the end, but if you just start with, you're in the middle of the car chase, I think you, the, the, the question on the reader's mind is going to be, why do I care about this car chaser?

Why am I interested in

this, in this particular, you know, [00:21:00] action scene? For, for me, it is, it has generally been easier put longer action sequences, if they exist in the book, in the latter third, 

when, when hopefully if I've done my job. You as the reader care deeply about the characters, you're at least interested in them, you know, you might hate them, but you might be interested in them too, and you want to see what happens next.

That, that to me is the most satisfying thing in a book when I'm reading, which is why I think I just do it in my own writing

is or attempt to do it is like that hockey stick moment later on when things really start to ratchet up the chapters, the scenes get shorter, it

becomes more compact. It's harder to get that payoff, I think, if you don't have things up front, kind of more drawn out, a little bit slower, a little building simmering. And I think that involves slowing, slowing things down early [00:22:00] on a little, a little bit, you know, appropriately.

David Gwyn: Yeah, I mean, so interesting. I, it's like a master class and opening chapters. So David, I feel like I could talk to you all day, but I do have one more question for you, which is where can, where can people find you? Where can people look you up?

David McCloskey: Yeah. So, you can find me at davidmccloskeybooks. com. There's links to everything there. You can find the books wherever you get your books. So that could be Amazon all the way to IndieBound or your local Indie store. And I'm on social media sort of across all of the platforms. God help me. As at, at McCloskey books is, is the handle.

So you can learn more about me there as well.

David Gwyn: Cool. All right. Well, David, like I said, this was so much fun. I really appreciate you taking the time to chat.

David McCloskey: Yeah. Thanks for having me. This was a ton of fun.

David Gwyn: Okay. What an insightful conversation with David McCloskey, we've learned how crucial it is to weave real-world experiences into your thrillers. How deep character development can drive your plot forward. And you learned some of those insider tips on how to keep readers [00:23:00] hooked. Whether you're writing a spy novel or. Any other high stakes thriller, these lessons will really help you elevate your storytelling.

Because it's all about crafting better stories. Your actionable tip for today is to go through your first chapter. Make sure it has all the elements of David McCloskey is opening. If it does you're well on your way to literary success. 

Thanks for hanging out with me. I'll see you next time and be sure to subscribe. So you don't miss next week's episode. I'll see you soon.